Chaos Brothers?

Swindle's Mark Smith has a secret British brother! As the debate rages over which brother is more punk rock, a couple things are clear: Patrick has the better arm of the two and the better wardrobe.

Jon Gosselin's Next (dance) Move

What was Jon Gosselin doing while the other 9 was out filing for divorce? Dancing of course. When reached for comment Jon had this to say, “All I ever really wanted to do was dance and the kids have been a constant obstacle. Would Kevin Bacon’s foot ever gotten loose with 8 kids complaining about how they are hungry or how they bumped their head on the stairs? I don’t think so. This is the real reality, it’s about me and my dreams.” Gosselin also confirmed his “people” are in talks for the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars.

Sugar Boogar Shrinker

Although fun, drug abuse can be devastating. Dive Bar Donkey has just uncovered that Amy Winehouse has sniffed her way into a tiny Mexican man. Sad really, but who didn't see it coming?

Amy Wine-donk

My favorite Celebudonk of last year did an okay job at the Grammies, (if okay can also mean totally-effing-boring), but it looks like her stint in rehab has done her some good, because she actually remembers the lyrics to her songs. Unlike this clip below:




Maybe she just decided to do her bumps backstage, unlike this other clip below:



Actually, fuck that. On her most off-nights at Karaoke, TwatRock does Amy Winehouse songs better than Amy Winehouse. She might just steal all her songs and change her name to Phoebe Beerapartment. If her first name were Phoebe. Which it is not.

What the F#!*, What the F*$% What the....

If anyone has ever wondered what John would look like if he got punched in the face, this pretty much sums it up. I'm def. a lover, not a fighter. As for you Jesse Metcalfe, you get the Celebudonk vagina face of the weak award.

Rosie gives up beer

Rosie is trying to shed pounds by giving up beer. May we also suggest giving up the:

and and